Suddenly

Tomorrow will be 1 month since Jacobs birth and death. I can have a great day and even on the best of them the pain comes so suddenly. I feel in my life everything happens suddenly. 6 years ago we decided to move to TX suddenly, when i was 19 I was suddenly pregnant with my oldest daughter Nadiya, Daves job offer came suddenly, and most recently the death of our son. According to the dictionary the word sudden means happening without warning, occurring without transition from the previous form or state, unforeseen, quick or swift. When God works he works suddenly. My hope is that one day I will wake up and suddenly be healed from this pain and anger I have towards God. My mother asked me if I was going to church this weekend and my answer was the same as it has been the 3 weeks before "no." No because I dont want to see all those brown haired baby boys who run around everywhere, no because I do not want to see my friends who were pregnant right along with me, no because my  husband is not ready but most of all no because I am still grieving. I wait anxiously to have my suddenly, my moment of healing. I'm sure one day I will wake up and suddenly want to go to church, but today is not the day. I have been praying for God to speak to me and show me the reasons for why this happened. I went to lunch with a friend this past week and she told me that "you cant get stuck in why God lets things happen. You have to focus on the fact that God has his reasons." So that is what I am going to try to do, have faith that Gods reasons for letting something like this happen is far greater than the plans I have. Plans of good and not evil, plans of a future and hope. 
Tomorrow I am asking you to keep me and my family in your prayers. Pray for comfort and strength. Pray that I am suddenly stronger emotionally then I have been this past month.  Pray for a sudden moment of healing for my husband and I!



Suddenly, Jesus himself came along and joined them and began walking beside them. Luke 24:15

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. Luke 2:13

And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. Acts 2:2

As he was approaching Damascus on this mission, a light from heaven suddenly shone down around him. Acts 9:3

Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone's chains came loose. Acts 16:26