Lots of new adventures going on in our lives this year. Its our first year of home schooling. It has been a big adjustment but I feel blessed to be able to do it. More importantly I think my kids will truly be blessed by it and the time we get to spend together. We also started art classes, gymnastics and life groups. So, LOTS going on. You know that quote that says "All in Gods timing." Well, I get it. If God would have even put the thought in my head to home school my girls last year, I would have laughed and thought that God had gone crazy.
This past week my oldest daughter was studying Moses and the burning bush. One of the things she kept on coming back to was that Moses kept telling God to "pick someone else" or that he had a "slow-tongue" and was not a good leader. Well, I was totally like Moses for a long time.
Throughout my 20s I was VERY self conscious. I was set in my ways. I had my friends, really didnt care to make new ones because I was to nervous and scared to think about what people might think of me. My girls had their friends, whose parents I was friends with so I didnt have to worry about meeting new people. About two years ago, I started praying for God to not let me be so self-concious and nervous around people. Last year around this time, I started a womens group at church, the first step to conquering my fear. The first week I absolutely hated it, I was to nervous to be myself, I was terrified that no one would like me, I cared way WAY to much about what people thought of my appearance.....all the stupid petty things that held me back from me being the best me that I can be. Last year, I would never have been able to do what I am doing this year. New gymnastic class for home schoolers...... All of these people already know each other and have play dates and are familiar with each other. Last year you would have had to drag me kicking and screaming to jump into something like that. But this year we did it!! New art classes at the Center for Home Education. Once again we are the new people, but again we (I) made it through the first 3 weeks already. A couple of weeks ago I had an epiphany......I didnt care! I didnt care what any of these people thought of me. I didnt care if they thought I was pretty, smart, a good mom, poor, wealthy, fat!! I didnt care! I was there for my kids, if I happened to have a conversation with a parent, fine. I didnt care and it felt EXCELLENT!! Im 31 years old, and for the first time in a long time I did not care what anyone thought about me. There is this quote on pinterest that says "I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me. Now I walk around and wonder if I like them." I really like not caring! Please dont get me wrong I care about people and their hearts. However, if they choose not to like me, or not want to be my friend, then Im okay with that. Last year I would have sat there and wondered what was wrong with me. This year, I know Im a pretty darn good person, and if it was meant to be it will be. In Gods eyes I am perfect!!!
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